Have you ever felt trapped??
Stuck in a position with no way out??
Held in place by things and people you would loath to bring harm to??
You try to convince yourself , you are here for them.
You do this with the best of intentions.
To the naked eye everything appears fine, idyllic even.
First you create the illusion.
Little things you hide for a start.
Then you strive to maintain what you've built.
During this time, you bury the flickerings of resentment.
Pretend to ignore the unfairness of this life.
Smile, joke, continue the facade.
Slowly day by day, the effort begins to wear on you.
The very perception you have birthed, becomes a monster in it's own right.
You find yourself frustrated, confused, angry.
How did I come to be here??
Why does this bother me so much more now than before??
Who is this person looking back at me??
Why does she look so sad??
What can I do to change this??
What would I do to change this??
Have you ever felt yourself living in a lock down??
Where even going out feels like a day pass.
Worried that saying or doing the wrong thing will have that pass rescinded.
I live in a gilded cage, made up of a bay window, vertical blinds and nice hardwood floors.
The trustee's are three beautiful girls I would give my very life for.
And am bit by bit.
The guard, the woman who gave birth to me, so I gave her a place to spend her remaining years.
The warden, a husband, who became someone I barely recognize, or failed to see initially.
Sentenced for crimes, I myself, did not commit.
Hoping by the time I find my parole,
I still know the person staring back at me in the mirror.
Make no mistake, when you aren't free to do as you would like to,
Be who you are meant to be-
The nicest of rooms, the spacious of backyards are still a cage in which you are held.
