I am sitting at the computer, bored again, going thru various sites: How to Get the Man You Want, Make Him Love You and Thank You for it and also 7 Secrets to Forever. Partly out of curiousity and part cuz I needed a good laugh. I also looked up stuff about "How to Teach Your Child". Easier said than done and the average male penis size. My mind likes to bounce around. BTW the average male errection is between 5" - 6.5". With a girth of 5" around.
So I am looking at these "how to" sites and comparing my actions and experiences. How they correlate from my life to what "they" say. Then I took a good look at what I wanted and how things ultimately ended up. Let's just say I was less than impressed. I found I taylor my needs, desires and feelings to what the other person wants. Usually with a damsel in distress slant on it. This approach probably works great for blondes with big tits, but I am red headed with moderate boobs and on the sharp witted side. This doesn't seem to be working in my favour. So it begs the question - If I am unhappy with the end results, am I doing something wrong? The answer - yes and no.
Yes, that by altering who I am to to become more appealing to him, I do us both a great disservice by NOT showing him who I really am. Not giving us the opportunity to see if we might compliment each other by being different. It is true opposites attract, providing they find the right balance. Eventually the facade drops and I find that the guy doesn't like the person I am, but the perception of who he thought I was.
No. I am relearning the rules of the game. And finding the rules are, there are no rules. People change bf/gf's every other week. I'm not up for that, while like most people I want to have fun, I am also very picky. So I have a few personal standards I use as guidelines. Friends first. He could be the hottest guy on the planet but if I can't have a simple conversation with him, what's the point? Never sleep with someone I don't care about. This kills 2 birds with 1 stone. If he's only interested in a booty call then he won't try to get to know me and waste my time. And becoming intimate with someone you care about makes the experience all the more better. Watch how he treats other people and compare how he treats me. If he disrepects other people, for whatever reason but treats me like a queen, chances are he will disrespect me when I fall out of favour. He has to make me smile. If just thinking about him doesn't make me smile that's a general indication of how I really feel. These are just a few things I use to wind my way thru life. I still need to work on my end game.
Someone once told me they liked my sexy confidence. That was before he got to know me. I wonder if he would say the same now. Sadly some of the most insecure people are the ones who look like they have the world by the balls.
So I ve decided to change how I do things a bit. I have always been the type that if I want it, I want it NOW!! Information, and outfit, guys.....especially guys. I can be aggressive and overbearing. But I have just recently learned what it is like to be persistantly chased. It's not a great feeling. I would also like to believe that I can learn and change from various experiences in life. One of the things I have learned, just recently, is that constantly contacting someone via IM or texting etc becomes irritating and kills interest. That and ending sentences with "call me...if you want to that is" starts to sound needy after a couple times. **Hanging head in embarassment** I am guilty of doing both, and will be stopping that.
I am turning over a new leaf. I will learn to exercise patience. With all the ways there are to get in touch with a person, anyone who's interested will find away to get my attention. And to all those whom I have over-persued, my sincerest apologies. I knew not what I did.
Another aspect I will be working on is not running myself down. Out loud anyway. Everyone does it. People are their own worst enemy and critic. My goal is to stop saying it, with the hope that eventually I will stop thinking it too.
Life is precious and short. Right now all I want to do is stop and smell the roses, and enjoy all aspects of life. I think I have earned the right to be a little selfish, so Mr. Right if you're out there, it's your turn to dance thru a few hoops.......cuz I'm worth it!!!
