Do all men become the scum of the earth, when they don't get their way. Are they so far removed, in their selfishness that it no longer matters what the right thing to do is. Only what they want to do, for what ever reason. Is using any means necessary to get back at a person no longer a concern, when righteous indignation is involved. Or pride is sorely wounded.
Why do they believe what they do is OK, but God help them if their girlfriend/wife wants to do it too. Why do they project all of their fears and shortcomings on to their other half. Then have the gaul to blame said other half at every perceived slight. Why does it only take one female to screw with a guy but the next nine to pay for it. Women get screwed over time and again yet we foolishly try to be optimistic with the next. And with the 2:1 odds of women to men, even when their pride is dinged, they've already moved on to the next female. And always as the martyred victim.
How do I teach my girls that not all guys are jerks, when they are routinely exposed to them daily. My oldest 2 of them. What do I say to her when she tells me she feels like she's lost two fathers this year. She sees how he treats her differently and has heard that her aunt supposedly only has three nieces. I thank God her aunt told him straight out that she had four nieces. That my daughter, not his would always be her niece. Granted that was preceded by her also still claiming me as her sister. I wish it hadn't been said in front of my biggest baby girl but she was trying to illustrate that we were still family to her. What is it with having the inability to see past his own nose?? If you're not with me then you're against me.
Tonight my oldest finally broke down, I knew it was a matter of time before she would try to come to terms with that bit of information. As I held her in my arms I told her, it was said in anger. Designed to hurt me. And when heads clear he will find he never meant it. My heart wept with her. Had he been there I probably would have tried to scratch his eyes out. How dare he allow and encourage her to see him as her dad for over 10 years, then to act like it never meant anything. That night he truly became her step father in her eyes. When he is here he makes the motions, says the right words. He spends just about two hours a day in my house. (I claim it just on sheer volume of time I've spent here.) He eats, shits, shaves, showers, and changes. He expects to be lord of the manner then pisses and moans when not treated accordingly. Over buns no less.
The worst is the waiting. Waiting for the papers to be signed. Waiting for the ownership to change. Waiting for him to get the fuck out of my house!!
But most of all waiting for my life to begin again. Heaven forbid maybe even be a little happy.
For the time being, I'm not holding my breath. May 8th would have been our Tenth Anniversary. The girls still want to do something, as it is important to them. He suggested throwing a Separation Party!
What a guy!
