I will take you up on your offer to "smack the ever living shit out of you" Partially because I kinda feel like you owe me. And partially becuz it might actually help me feel better.
Yup, you acted like an ass. Ordinarily I don't observe that behavior in you. Even the bartender said that you were a really good guy and you must have been pretty upset. Congratulations....You're human!!!! Just like the rest of us. So avoiding places and not doing things you enjoy because a handful of people saw you act like a dumbass is ludicrous. It also makes the event a lot bigger of a deal than it was. Kinda smacks of touch cowardly
You know something, you're right. "I'm Sorry" just doesn't cut it. (Maybe if it's done on bended knees with a little grovelling thrown in for good measure??) But it's a start. At the very least it's good manners, something you pride yourself on having. You don't decide to throw away something that has made you happy because you get drunk and stupid. And yes whether you want to admit it or not I have put a smile on your face more than once. You deal with it then you get over it.
On a side note, you think I'M kinky??? I'm listening to CSI, and people get off on dressing up in animal costumes (mascot style) and yiff (dry hump)in a fur pile until they cum. Even I'M not THAT twisted. Ewwwwwwww.
The hollowness I can't help you with for 2 very good reasons. One you won't let me or anyone for that matter. And two because it's something you either deal with or live with. I know you don't believe me but I know that emptiness to the point where I have virtually destroyed my pinky knuckle punching brick walls just to see if I do feel anything. I still go thru periods of it, but my drugs help to correct that. Probably why I get so emotional when I drink, it says alcohol will intensify the effect right on the bottle, lol.
You have no control over what I feel, so you can't make any claims to what happens in the future. Yeah we got into it, quite nicely I might add, but such is the nature of all relationships. And the first real fight always seems worse than it really is. One thing I might point out is that even while you were yelling at me, I wasn't afraid of you. That's an odd reaction for me, drunk or sober.
So if you tell me that, you no longer like talking with me. My company isn't desirable to you. And you do not enjoy being with me. And you don't like reading my blogs. Then tell me to my face and I will leave you be. To the best of my ability, anyway. I can't change how I feel, and you certainly didn't, so unless told otherwise, you're stuck with me. And the only major grievance I have is your fb status still says you're single!!
So you better drop by tomorrow night cuz I am super nervous about running the Sing 2 Win thing and the fact that Manny is muttering threats about cancelling the gig. I could really use your support.
