I never, for one moment, thought that either of the poems you wrote had anything to do with me. "Oblivious to the present" is a dead give away. I complimented your pieces and wrote something in response to how they spoke to me. You are reading way too much into it.

I need to understand, I have to learn...if I used either of those phrases on you you tell me that that you are who you are, or it's just a part of you. Guess what it goes both ways. Yes I have a need for definitive answers, I don't have the luxury of living on a whim. But you already knew that. On other things I usually try to explain where I'm coming from. Try to understand the other persons side.

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it doesn't make sense. If you feel dead on the inside, you start to wonder if you're dead on the outside too. I just chose a more direct and violent way of proving I wasn't.

"I never wanted to make you feel this way, and I won't ever make you feel this way again" You cannot change the way I do or do not feel. Anymore than I am responsible for your "losing it" or being angered easily. That is what I meant when I said you can't control... Not the literal definition of control. That is not your way.

What friggin' "ton of responsibilities??" I don't remember inviting you to dinner, or asking you to have or accept any form of responsibility where my family is concerned. Yes, you chatted online with my oldest and yes, you two appear to have similar interests. We even toyed with the idea of an intro. But I made it crystal clear that as far as I was concerned my home life and my social life would stay separate.

I have made more than one attempt to get in touch with you, to try and talk and sort things out. Obviously you are the one who is mad and you are the one who is not talking to me. Since you won't chat with me, tell me why it is you are so angry, you're right it's not much of a relationship. All I asked for was a chance to be with you, have I even been given that? Maybe my sister is right, perhaps I expect too much.

For someone who prefers to have fun and live on a whim, you sure worry a lot about the future. Yeah I joke about babies and marriage but right now I'm about as open to that as I would be severing my own arm.

As to your point of view, I have said on more than one occassion that I have been told that no one is going to want to be with a woman with 3 children at my age. I asked you why the hell you were interested. You said "maybe I just want to be part of your life." Have I considered that your family life and mine differ big time, yes. Even you said you were surprised I hung in so long. The fact that you really aren't close with anyone factored greatly into it. But you still seemed to enjoy spending time or chatting with me.

That's it for me, I disputed what I felt necessary and said whatever else I had to say.

p.s Glad to see you're writing.