This post will have no literary or poetic value what so ever. If that's what your are looking for then skip ahead to the next few posts. This is a purely selfish urge to do some unadulterated bitching. While I'm sure there are people who would pay lip service and offer an ear or shoulder, but no one can or really wants to help. So this is my fuckin' blog and and if you don't like what I have to say, don't read!!!!
And the hits they keep on coming. Seriously, how much more am I expected to take before I can just lose it and go koo koo?? I will honestly admit I'm pretty fuckin' close now. You know I can handle shit directed at me. I can learn to deal or accept. I don't have to like it, or want that, but ya know, life can really fuckin' suck. Beating a dead horse is a waste of time and just pisses the horse off. But then again the horse is dead so it doesn't really have much to say, does it??
Now you throw shit at someone I care about, then that's where I draw the line. I am learning that common courtesy is a lost art now days. And nobody's word means shit. Promises empty. I wish that they were soooo empty that they had no power to cause damage. But then that would not be my life would it??
A promise was made, and broken. How do you positively spin being stood up by ones own aunt. Shopping for a dress may seem trivial, but to her it's a major coup. The time arranged came and went. No call, message or communication of any kind. Already feeling like an outsider, and being treated like one by the man she still thinks of as dad. I worry that a little part of her has been broken. Yes, I know kids are resilient, but this is the age when pre-conceived notions are formed. This is the age where the shit that happens to them, leave lasting impressions.
This is the girl who was one vote away from being class Valedictorian. She has and uses more maturity than a good portion of the adults I know, how sad is that. And they treat her like this. My heart bleeds for her, knowing there is nothing I can do to help makes it worse. I worry about what she is going to take away from this. That your own "family" can't be counted on?? The people in her life aren't good for their word. That as a rule in general, people suck, unless there is something in it for themselves. People are selfish and are more or less looking out for number one. I'm sure not all people are like this, but I can only count a hand full I can honestly say I personally know that aren't. I'm going to take her to get her dress, because I understand how important it is to her. It doesn't matter that I don't have the extra money, what matters that she feels that she is worth the effort. Truth be told, she is more than deserving of this and more. On her big day I'm going to send her a dozen roses, dark red (her favourite colour). Every girl should get roses on special day.
Yes it does seem like I am trying to make up for other peoples crap, but I wonder how much this really has to do with me and not her. I hate that she is paying for things I've done or am doing. We care and value others more than we do ourselves, which is why the quickest way to hurt us is to hurt someone we love. I made her a promise that this would never happen again. Never again will I allow someone else the responsibility of doing for mine. I will be the one to do whatever is necessary, regardless of who offers. I expect to be regarded as stubborn and standoffish, but at least I know no one will get hurt and it WILL get done.
Sadly this is just one more example of unnecessary meanness and exclusion I am doing my damnedest to keep her from. People can be cruel, this fact is true, but she is to young to become the cynic I am
