OK, I have this insane need to be clear. Probably because I find vague and indecisive a decidedly waste of time.
So....two way street?? WTF?? And I mean that for all the assumed wording that goes with the acronym.
I have a very vivid memory of walking home where I told you exactly how I feel. I do believe the words "in" and "love" were used in the same sentence. And I walked ahead of you to give you the chance to turn around and go the other way. Did you think that had changed?? Or do you find me that shallow as to think I would utter those words to any Tom, Dick or Harry??
And before you get your back up too much, try to remember I have always been upfront about what I think and feel. That hasn't changed, my actions may have.....but I can only ask or make comments so may times before I become defeated. Surprise!! I have pride too. That's what some of the comments were last night. I guess I wanted you to feel how I do. Like unless I was doing something of interest, you had better things to do. I'm not a mind reader and you're not giving away too much. I am btw, irritatingly single minded in my interests. I guess I thought that with things being resolved it would, idk, make a difference.
The whole distancing was me giving you space. I figured you'd be happier, give you time to sort things out job wise etc. Get shit together and deal with the bs from Hartman. I had my own crap to deal with and tried to not bug you with it. Yes I know you read my blogs, but I figured you viewed them objectively. OK, for the most part I did. For the record: yes most of my fantasy blog are written with you in mind. You're gonna hate this but, in some ways you are like most guys. By that I mean you may be the male model, but the likelyhood of that stuff happening is slim to none. Realising this I submit to you : Some fantasies should stay fantasies. You should never decide you are not open to something until you've tried it. Like I said befor I have not invested in a new B.O.B. I have always said I have a very vivid imagination. It goes in lots of directions. And you wonder why I censor myself. And yes I still do.
So I'll make this easy. You say it's a two way street, well consider my ass sitting at the stop sign. If you are interested in seeing where things could go, then drop by for a beer Saturday night. No show means no go. Simple, to the point...no bs.
