The last three weeks of my life have a complete and total mind fuck. The best description would be to invite you to look at a painting of Picasso. His work leaves you with the feeling of WTF and I don't get it.
This is where I sit now. Shaking my head and wondering just where their heads are at.
Starting with ex husband #1. This is the guy who's interest in his first born waxes and wanes with his moods. And when he does make the effort he expects instantaeous respect and obedience from her. While managing to make her feel like an unwanted outsider. Then suddenly due to circumstances changing in my life that affects his child and my other two. He has decided he want more access. He thinks he has gone out of his way to accommadate myself and his child. It is his right to see her. All the while making uncalled for remarks about my person in front of his child. It is his opinion that if she continues on the path she is currently treading she will be pregnant within a year. Of course this is all my fault. And he wonders why she doesn't want to visit with him.
Moving on to ex husband #2. It is ex's #1 assertation that #2 began an affair because I forced him into it, like I did with him. Yup I held a gun to both of their heads. While I can't prove that #2 was having an affair before we ended, they evidence suggests that there was indeed something going on. Now the break up between #2 and I has been nasty to put it politely. So when he is being nice and helpful, warning bells go off in my head. He doesn't want me going thru a government agency for support payments. He was trying his utmost best to convince me that there had to be a court order, and since there wasn't one, according to him he is not in arrears and is paying directly. They will laugh at me and ask why would I want to go thru them for my support. He seems to be ignoring the fact that our Agreement is a legal document and is completely enforeable. Which means the back dating of the Agreement to November of 2008, put's him into arrears for April, May, June, July and August to the tune of $4200.00. Hmmmm, no wonder he wants me to withdrawl.
And last but not least, although not a husband nor technically an ex. Running into each other at the same place as a regulars, hanging out a couple of times and only chatting if I started a conversation, doesn't qualify as a relationship. Friends that had the hots for each other maybe. I gave it my best shot for over 9 months. Understood you had moral conflicts. That you weren't comfortable with a relationship while #2 still technically hadn't moved out. OK I respected that. Then when I signed papers was the first time you came home with me. Then I went and did the girly thing and thought that we were finally a couple. You wanted to be with me. That went south. We eventually sorted things out and were intimate together another 4 times. Yet again the girl in me thought it meant something. You lost your job, I was dealing excess crap- you started pulling away. You seemed to prefer to hangout and smoke up.
My crap is finished, I basically blog if you are interested in making something of us then meet me for a beer. Easy out, no show -no go. You were a no show. I run into you and you act like I don't exist. Then I ask if we're still friends. You say that we both did what we never wanted to do, that our relationship became about sex, and that's not what you wanted. What are you supposed to do act like nothings happened, that we are both not upset or a little hurt? What relationship? If you were hurting, I meant a little something to you, then you talk to me. See where I'm at. Tell me where your at. I stopped asking you to do stuff cuz you always had plans with someone else, and you never asked me to do anything with you. I guess I just wasn't as much fun, your interest has obviously diminished - I hear you are looking elsewhere.
So like I said, the last three weeks have been a total and complete utter mind fuck. I guess the true measure of what you're worth is how people treat you. I wonder what conclusion I should draw from this, considering that in some cases I kept foolishly plugging away. I'm sure it will come as a relief to certain people that I will no longer be bothering them for anything.
